Hello ladies and gents! Hope you're all doing well. It's been such a beautiful week and I'm fully fired up for the upcoming weekend and it's adventures (if there is any)
It's no secret that a lot of men can be a bit clueless when it comes to what a woman wants at times. Unfortunately not every man is a dream. While some men are blessed with the ability to make a woman feel comfortable and satisfied, at the same time there are a pot full of men that don't even have 1% of that trait.
What happens if you are the woman that has ended up with such a man? It can be quite frustrating can it? Especially if you're the type of woman that knows exactly what she needs.
I would say that the good thing about human beings is that we learn everyday, and we adapt quickly. I have a friend with a huge problem (or at least she thinks it is). She is in love and wants to remain with her man, but he seems to be the type to just not get it. Yes he loves her too (so he says), but it is almost not believable because his actions don't show it. This seems to drive her crazy and she just does not know what to do. Shouldn't a man's actions show love?
Or is that just a crazy fantasy?
Or is that just a crazy fantasy?
I say that her man is only clueless and needs proper guiding. Not the kind of guiding you give to a child, but the kind you give to your potential partner. Not all human beings are the same, and we all come differently, but one thing every single one of is possesses is the ability to learn and modify our rituals. Most times women get tired of explaining the same thing over and over to their men, and just decide to give up and settle with it. But you don't have to settle, just hang up the complaining cap, and put on the cap of leadership. Yes I said leadership.
If you are the kind of woman that likes romance, and your man can't even spell the word, start off by being romantic towards him. For example, on special days plan surprises that other people will witness, like surprise parties, or simply take him out to a nice dinner and pay. By the time it becomes very obvious that you did all that for him, but he didn't do the slightest thing for you, he will be humiliated by your love, and the message that he needs to sit up will resonate loud and clear. This step has been tested and proven my loves!
What about if you just want him to be more supportive in what you do? It's all the same process. Instead of continuously complaining to him about his uninvolvement, slowly involve him by bringing certain decision making issues to his attention. Give him the chance to contribute in making some decisions, or in pitching ideas. From that small scenario he will slowly be more and more involved. From you bringing an issue to him, to him in turn helping you make a decision, to you coming back to brief him on how the decision he made worked, to you briefing him again to other things. His involvement has started to build.
Long story short, stop dwelling on what he needs to do, and take the first step to do them. Never give up on the cause by convincing yourself that he does not care, because I've learned that the second you give up fighting for a goal, you have surrendered and accepted to leave it that way. I'm all for ladies taking leadership, try stepping up to the plate and showing him how it's done.